if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
