uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
