SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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