for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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