It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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