considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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