I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
