He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
