He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
