I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
