Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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