if only i could text you this smell
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
