I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
