Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Girls should come with a carfax report
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
