we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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