Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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