i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
