the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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