I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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