My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
