I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize