Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
