i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
