I wanna bring you to show and tell
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think a kid would responsible me up
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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