were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
