I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
