she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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