What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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