I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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