No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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