You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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