I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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