the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
