I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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