There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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