Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
