Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
