weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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