You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize