I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
