All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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