How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
