i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
