Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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