Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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