I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
