My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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