I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
from now on my penis is your penis
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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