Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
