yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
