i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
