WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
