That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
this hospital has no fireball
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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