I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
