How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize