I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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