getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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