I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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