So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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