This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
