recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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