I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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