I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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