Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
