they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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