i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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