dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
